Shoulder surgery yields comedic results

I was an elementary school teacher. Whenever students came in with a new cast on a wrist or leg, or bandage across the knee, I always asked, “Was it worth it?”


They’d get a cute, quizzical expression on their faces. They’d ponder a second.  Once a girl said, without hesitation, “No way!”  But 95% of the time, they’d end up grinning and say, “Yup!”


Yup. Case in point – just had shoulder surgery.  Was it the handsprings? “Hot dog” skiing? Rock climbing? Yoga? Snowboarding? Grinding the winch or hauling in the spinnaker while sailing?  Believe me, your body gets the last laugh for what you put it through! 


After the drugs wore off, and I was once again allowed to use online banking, I found myself with some time on my hands.  Well, hand. And an upside is, I’m getting really good at one-handed texting.  


A friend sent me a get-well card that says “it’s all fun and games until someone ends up in a cone.”  Dog in protective cone on front.  I laughed when I saw it.  Is a dog cone around my neck the best post-surgery outfit ever?  She suggested I get one to wear to our conference this weekend so people will leave my shoulder alone.  Oh, I think they’d keep their distance!  But maybe not for the reason I intended. Or I could wear protective gear. Something like this: Spiked shoulder pad instructions! Tee hee.   


My doctor says the surgery was successful and the prognosis good. I am in good spirits. (Could it be because I took Mom and Dad sailing around Alcatraz and Angel Island the day before surgery instead of moping around?)  


I now look like half a football player, or like I found half of an atrocious 80’s shoulder pad outfit. I still have to think of how to wash my hair without my guy’s or Mom’s having to wash it while I sit in the bathtub with an extra-large Hefty lawn and leaf bag tied tight around my neck. Thank goodness no-one got a picture of that! Although it was pretty funny.

It was WAY better than the cone. Seriously.